one last time

this morning my gramma passed away.

if you remember, i've written about her on occassion {here and here}.

i saw her just yesterday. to be honest, after that visit i wanted her to go. seeing her like that made my heart hurt. we had to put her in an assisted living last month. i went and visited her every week. i am so grateful that i did that. each week her health got worse but that experience really did something to me.

kinda changed me.

so for you, my readers, {and for me} here is one last story...

this was my last actual conversation with gramma. i went to visit her at the "place." i was kinda anxious since the last time i visited, when she was awake, she was upset and just kept asking me to take her home. but this time was different. it seemed like she had accepted the fact that this was her new "place." for now.

i walk in and find her in the common area. that's usually a good sign. and she's awake. could be a bad sign...i walk up and give her a hug.

me: hi, gramma

gramma: hi, dear

me: how are you doing?

gramma: oh, okay. they brought me out here...i don't know why.

me: well i think they are getting lunch ready for everyone.

gramma: oh, how's your husband?

me: {surprised she seems to know who i am} he's good. he's at work.

gramma: you're happy?

me: yes. very happy.

gramma: good. you sure picked a good one.

me: yeah, i did.

gramma: now, who are you again?

me: lizzie. i'm richard's daughter. i'm your granddaughter.

gramma: oh, i'm sure lucky to have a granddaughter like you. to come visit me.

me: well, i come because i love you gramma.

gramma: love you too dear. now...where's my husband?

me: ummm...gramma, your husband died. two years ago.

gramma: i know, not my first husband. he died. i'm looking for my second husband.

me: gramma, you don't have a second husband.

gramma: {looking incredulous, responded with a laugh} honey, yes i do.

after about an hour of visiting i told her i had to leave.

gramma: oh no, do you really have to go? i had such a nice visit.

me: yeah, i do have to go. but i'll see you again soon, okay?

gramma: okay, dear.

me: love you, bye.

gramma: love you too.

she was stubborn, sweet, caring, persistant, witty, caring, and interested.

i'm gonna miss her.

see you again soon, gramma.

xo. lizzie